Summer is the time for reunions with family, friends and classmates. I won't be attending one this year but I feel as if I am visiting one through the family albums. I am trying to figure out where am I going to store these precious memories dating back to 1968. At this moment they are stacked up on our porch...all 37 of them! I have to admit that in the past I have not visited those albums too often. They have provoked unpleasant memories as I viewed them through the grid of shame, guilt and regret. Interestingly enough I remember where, when and who were in those pictures and yet the pictures of me are surrounded with secrecy and humiliation for the girl, woman, wife and mother struggling with the addiction of an eating disorder. My heart felt locked-up and restricted.
Recently I attended a seminar with Dan Allender. I began to tell him about how my heart was feeling. I added grudges and resentment to my list. I was thinking he would give some magic formula to get those hostile feelings out of my heart. Instead he said, "Of course you have grudges and resentment but your heart has the capacity for so much more." He pictured my heart as a mansion with many rooms, and, yes, grudges and resentment are 2 of the rooms in my mansion but they are not the only ones. He challenged me to take care of my mansion by not allowing others to throw bricks at it, to entertain others in the beauty of my rooms, and to most certainly maintain my mansion so it does not become
desheveled. Oh my...now that was not the twist I was expecting!
So how does this pertain to your reunion this summer? Mine is through the family albums, maybe yours are too. Or you are attending one. Either way consider attending with the mansion of your heart in order. Invite yourself and others into some new rooms where you entertain with kindness, revival and love. My hope is that you will experience others and yourself with a renewed interest and that your heart will overflow for the good that was and the good that is to come.
Posted by Mary Jane Hamilton
Very timely,Mary Jane. I just attended my 45th high school reunion. A couple of people there know some of my story. One person helped put together the new DVD (almost finished) on Male Sexual Abuse which uses my story and other information. Conversations with these people prompted other conversations.
ReplyDeleteI was able to let people see a little of how God has been redeeming my story via leading Grace Groups and now the DVD.
I received a couple of partial disclosures and learned of two other abusers. (I now know of 7 in our supposedly safe little government town in the early 1950s. (You pretty much had to have a government secret security clearance to live there.)
Instead of this being a "wasn't it so cool being in high school" event, a few of us were able to say truth and give hope.
Mary Jane, thank you for sharing. I've been struggling with feeling disgust toward myself. I feel stuck there, but what you have shared has allowed me to see that I have much more inside of me. You've given me hope. thank you.
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