Tradition, Memory and caring for my heart...

For as far back as my memory takes me Thanksgiving morning has always included waking up to the smell of roasting turkey lingering in the air mingled with the aroma of coffee and the sounds of the Macy's Thanksgiving Day parade.  Traditions in my family of origin, which have now taken up residence in my family today.

I can picture the sight of the white roasting oven, usually enhanced by the presence of aluminum foil.  My grandma handed down the tradition of putting the turkey on to cook the night before Thanksgiving, roasting it long and slow.  Thanksgiving eve has always culminated with a midnight stuffing of the bird and 30 minutes of high temperature cooking before bringing the heat down low.  Often, there is interesting conversation in the kitchen during the waiting time (along with some late night kitchen dancing), and then we all head off to bed.  

Such was the scene at my house this year also.

Thanksgiving Day at my house brought a mingling of traditions from my childhood, like the turkey roasting all night and the Macy's parade, along with the silly tradition of tying the ribbons I place around the napkins on our heads sometime during the meal....leaving us all looking ridiculous by the end of dinner.

This time of year is often filled with family traditions, and the presence of memories. The memories are usually a patchwork of beauty and pain, laughter and sorrow, gratitude and longing.  

Holding and honoring my memories can sometimes feel overwhelming this time of year.  On Thanksgiving Day I found myself laughing, soaking up conversation with dear friends and family, and on the edge of tears numerous times. Tears of gratitude, tears of longing, tears of grief.

So much washing over me on just a single day.

As my children grow older they have their own ideas about the holidays, things that they want to begin to include as new traditions, things that have touched their hearts and left imprints they want to remember and continue.

I found myself needing to step back and breathe as Thanksgiving weekend unfolded.  For me the step back allowed me to feel more, see more and listen to my heart.  In my desire to not "miss" my children I can sometimes miss myself.  With 5 kids all wanting moments with me its easy for me to dismiss my own heart and what it needs, and what I want to remember for myself.  

I know that as December unfolds I will continue to find myself needing to step back and breathe.  I want to be kind to myself and those around me.  I want to continue and enjoy the traditions of the past, and I want to be intentional about new things I want to see happen this year for myself and those I love.  I want for my home to be place where the past is honored, and there is room for each of us to experience new different things as well.  

I wonder how December will unfold for each of you?  What do you want to honor, and where do you want to try something new?

posted by Tracy